Sexual Calorie Counter

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the calorific expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

• With her consent....................... 12 Calories

• Without her consent.................... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:

• With both hands........................ 8 Calories

• With one hand.......................... 12 Calories

• With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

• With an erection....................... 6 Calories

• Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:

• Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories

• Trying to find the! G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:

• Missionary............................. 52 Calories

• 69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories

• 69 standing up......................... 112 Calories

• Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories

• Her on top.............................. 524 Calories

• Doggy Style............................ 726 Calories

• Donkey punch..................... 912 Calories 

ORGASMIC:

• Real................................... 112 Calories

• False.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:

• Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories

• Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories

• Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:

• 20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories

• 30-39 years............................ 80 Calories

• 40-49 years........................... . 1124 Calories

• 50-59 years............................ 1972 Calories

• 60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories

• 70 and over......................... Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:

• Calmly................................. 32 Calories

• In a hurry............................. 98 Calories

• With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories

• With your spouse knocking at the door.... 5521 Calories

• With her spouse knocking at the door.... 10,521 Calories