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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
well.
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I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
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I am in shape. Round is a shape.
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Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
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Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
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A man is
just a dildo with a big carrying case.
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And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy, I'd
have had nothing to play with. Rodney Dangerfield
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In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out
of what I did best. But, since there's no real market for masturbation I
had to fall back on my bass playing abilities. Les Claypool
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A motorcycle is a combination of pony, blow dryer, and
vibrator - perfect for girls of all ages. Colin MacDonald
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Jack is nimble, Jack is quick, but Jill prefers the
candlestick.
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There are a number of mechanical devices which
increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the
Mercedes-Benz 380Sl convertible. P.J. O'Rourke
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All women are just two drinks away from a girl-on-girl
adventure. David Spade
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I urge you all today, especially today during these
times of chaos and war, to love yourself without reservations and to
love each other without restraint. Unless you're into leather. Margaret Cho
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Sick and perverted always appeals to me. Madonna
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Girls are
like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand. Benny
Hill
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God created cats so that men could learn to
understand women.
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I could never be a woman. If I were, I would
do nothing but sit at home all day playing with my breasts. Steve Martin
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I like men to behave like men - strong and
childish. Françoise Sagan
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It's a slander to say my troubles come from
chasing women. They begin when I catch them. John Barrymore
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See, the problem is that God gives men a brain
and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Robin Williams
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There are two ways to handle women, and I
don't know either.
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Why are women are so uptight? They've got half
the money and all the pussy. Gary Busey
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Women and cats will do as they please, and men
and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. Robert Heinlein
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A bachelor enjoys the chase but doesn't eat
the game.
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Circumcision builds character if you survive
getting the end of your dick chopped off, you can survive almost
anything. Dan Savage
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I have a foot fetish, but I’ll settle for 7
or 8 inches.
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Cleavage is like an eclipse, you can't stare right at
it. Jerry Seinfeld
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I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it
would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. Dolly Parton
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You don't buy black underwear unless you want somebody
to see it. Larisa Oleynik
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She was a lovely girl. Our courtship was fast and
furious -- I was fast and she was furious. Max Kauffmann
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You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until
you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle
aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life. Emo Philips
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What's with the warning 'May contain some nudity?'
Well, I have to know for sure." Tim Steeves
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A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a
car. Carrie Snow
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I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home
which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that
growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that
comes home late every night. Marie Corelli
