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APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT
WITH THE BOYS |
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| Name of Husband |
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| I request permission for a
leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the
following period: |
| Date: |
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| Time of departure: |
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Time of return |
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| NOT to exceed: |
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Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the
locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting
on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female,
except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my
mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of
alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver
of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted
to go out, my girlfriend/fiancι/wife retains the right to be pissed off with
me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever. |
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Amount of alcohol allowed (units) |
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Beer |
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Wine |
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Liquor |
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Total |
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| Locations to
be visited |
From: |
To: |
| Locations to
be visited |
From: |
To: |
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Females with whom conversation is permitted |
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| IMPORTANT STRIPPER CLAUSE:
Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain
from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer.
Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination
of the relationship. |
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| I
acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our
relationship, and I agree its not me. I promise to abide by your rules &
regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in
chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit
cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an
unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On
my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct
in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise
not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will
refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and
attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit. |
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| I
declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to
my BETTER half), the above information is correct.
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Signed - Husband: |
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| Request is:
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| APPROVED |
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| DENIED |
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| This decision is not
negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times. |
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"
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Permission
for my husband to be away for the following period of time: |
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Date: |
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Time of departure: |
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Time of return: |
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Signed Wife: |
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